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Memorable Quotes from Forgotten Conversations, Pt1


What follows is a collection of quotes from IM conversations I have had, sans context, assembled into a sort of auteur conversation.

…So you’re saying  that computer-human interaction should be designed by an insane disembodied mind?

No what I’m saying is that a race of insane cyborgs that hates humanity is a pretty good way to go out

I mean, since animals are property under the law, I guess they could offer themselves as collateral. In the case of a horse that’s pretty significant, though for most rodents we’re looking at $3 to $20, maybe a bit more for guinea pigs or chinchillas.

I can’t see paying much for a used rodent

If you found out you were the lower lobe of the godtron’s large intestine, would you just quit being religious?

No, I would get a job in the sewage industry, as a metaphor.

You are not a proper kook.

You should illustrate a children’s book of the damned, filled with things like this.

granted, this is not that major of an improvement over our old control system, but apparently it was a dealbreaker?

Sort of like finding a piece of candy in a toilet.

I don’t feel now is the appropriate time for me to go into a graphic depiction of what that act entails

That was such a bad idea. Pretty warehouse fire though.

SPACE Toaster!

I meant it as an pronoun, not a verb

I have a question about these chicken hats you sold me -they appear to be….

Listen: those were on clearance. no returns.

I don’t think it’s legal to sell frozen sea cow fetuses with paper chicken combs as hats.

A rubber band was included in each box!

In no conceivable way can a rubber band securely attach these fetuses to the human head.

You wanna go scam a ton of people?

Do you even need to ask?


From → Rants

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